It Boils Down to The Important things~

It’s been on my mind a lot lately… over the last many years, in fact. So, I’m gonna lay down here what’s in my mind ~ “Where I come from.” The things that are important. The things that matter, to me, in my opinion. The Values and Ideas I work to shape my actions in life on. They boil down to a pretty small, straight forward list.
Respect.
I’ve been using the term “respect” a lot lately. And I think, maybe not everyone understands what I mean when I say “respect”. (As hard as it is for me to figure out how “respect” can be misunderstood..) So; Respect is Allowing everyone their own choices. We all have our own views, ideas, preferences, religions, beliefs, etc, etc. etc. For me – “Being Respectful” is not trying to change a person. We have all come to where we are right now, with our choices/beliefs/ideas/preferences/etc as a result of the years of our own life experiences. I do not expect (and nor should you – of me) that by me saying ” The earth is flat – look if it weren’t flat, all the water would spill right outta that there lake!” ~ and you to all the sudden see my point of view and agree. Chances are you’re heard it, thought about it, considered it, maybe researched it; and turned it away for whatever you believe instead. It’s silly to combat another person’s choices/beliefs/ideas/preferences/etc with your own. It accomplishes nothing, other than saying without out words “I’m right, and you are wrong.” I don’t feel this action is respectful. So back to respect. Allowing a person to have their own choices/beliefs/ideas/preferences/etc, and Respecting that though their choices/beliefs/ideas/preferences/etc may be different than yours; that person has formed their choices/beliefs/ideas/preferences/etc, just as you have. Respect that. (Cause I know you’re expecting them to respect yours, right?) We all deserve to have our choices/beliefs/ideas/preferences/etc respected. I personally don’t appreciate being badgered, teased, harassed, taunted, discriminated against, etc, etc, because my choice is different than yours. About What Ever The Topic may be. And I, respecting you – will allow you to have your own choices/beliefs/ideas/preferences/etc, and not badger, tease, harass, taunt, discriminate against, etc, etc, you for them. Even when I don’t agree.
Respect. We all do what is Most Right; for Our Selves. Not a single other person can tell us what this is. And yes. It’s a hard one. Resisting the urge to tell someone what they should do, what you think is right for them, etc etc; yeah. That’s tough stuff. Most of us have done it in our lives – probably even – a lot. So respect – To give every person in your life the respect to make their own choices and decisions. And I know; you want to say “Yea, but……!”. No buts. There are no buts. Not in any circumstance. You are not qualified (imho) to tell a single other person what’s best for them. Only that person knows, or has the right to make the choice “good”, or “bad”. The End.
At times, the people in your life may as your opinion. “What should I do?” When this comes up -I still feel it’s best to still not TELL then what to do. I would try to say.. “If it were me, I would do this”. I always try to tell my friends – “Only you can decide what’s best for you.” Of course. This is hard. Sometimes they want to do things you really think they should not. If they ask, you can tell them, you think they should not – and why. The why is important. Be logical. Not emotional… But still let them know – it’s their choice. And you’ll support them no matter what – because you respect them, and that’s what friends do… When we love someone, we support them. We Respect them. (At least in my world, this is what I do.)
The bottom line on this is: you live your life, everyone else lives theirs. You are the one responsible for all your choices, decisions, actions. Own yours. What someone else may think is a “bad choice”; you may feel was a good learning experience for yourself. Or a good thing! Worry only about your own life. It’s so much more simple. And freeing. The only thing that matters is you. No Drama. Just you.
Honesty & Truth.
Being honest. To yourself, and to the people in your life. In your actions, and your words. Living with integrity. Walk the walk. Talk the talk. Say what you mean. Be direct.
Take the time to think about your words and actions; and how they affect the people they touch. Speaking the truth, might be saying something that will ‘hurt someones feelings’. Some people think, it’s better to spare someone the hurt, than speak the truth. I think – everyone deserves the truth. It’s the truth. But be mindful…
Be thoughtful in your words and actions. Be compassionate. Words might hurt – but how you spill it might hurt more. If you speak without thought, often your words can be hurtful, unknowingly. (especially in the communications of email, text, comments, etc. You know your manner, the person receiving them has no context. If you’re mad, happy, smiling, teasing, crying, what you’re thinking..) And also, if you are speaking a truth that you think is going to be hard for someone to hear, say it in the nicest way you can – that’s the compassion.
But really the big this is being honest. Just do it. Everyone deserves the truth.
Honour.
Being the person your mom would be proud of. Really. Feel good about your words and actions. Treating people, animals, and the planet – the way you wish/hope/expect to be treated. Be confident you can look back and not regret a moment, a conversation, a situation. When you act with the most honour you have, it’s all you can do (with respect, and truth, of course!) You are the sum of your words and actions; it’s the only thing you can leave behind when you leave this life. How do you want to be remembered?
Friendships, and relationships are a two way street. Do you give as much as you get? In the same way?
Postscript:
In the past decade of my life, it literally feels like a pandemic. A Pandemic of lies, disrespect, and lack of honour. I could write pages and pages and pages on my personal life interactions; where my jaw just hangs from someone being so completely awful. In one way or another. So completely lacking of Truth, Honour, or Respect. Or combination of. It seriously makes me loose hope for the human race. Where are we, as a people headed, when the majority behaves like this? It makes me want to climb into a hole and not interact with a soul… Some days… I cry hard deep tears for the people of the planet earth. I wish I could change things. Change people. Teach them, Remind them….. But then I know, I have to live by my own Truthes: Respect. Honesty. Honour. And so I can’t bully them, force them, guilt them into being better. I would betray my own Respect rule. So; I do what I know I can: I do my own very best, every moment, of every day. And I lead by example, and speak here in my own space, about what matters to me. And hope it does make other souls think; and act about being their own Best…..
And finally, it’s perfectly ok to say “I respectfully agree to disagree.”